EVERYDAY

Wellbeing

Effectively sustaining yourself for the long game

Daz Burns from The Good Day Matrix speaking at the NZSME&E Growth Festival

Written by Daz Burns

 

What do Batman, The Lorax and Marc Randolph have in common? 

I promise there is no punch line, just some major learnings for an entrepreneur!

 

At the intersection between wellbeing and the perilous journey of leading yourself through starting a business, I landed on seven key takeaways from my experience that I want to share with you. 

 

Prepare

If you only have roughly four thousand weeks (thanks for the bombshell Oliver Burkeman) then your boundaries are key in your preparation because you have finite energy! Now, it is no secret that I am a huge Batman fan and it turns out that, not only does he never give up, but he is also a master strategist and planner! So he is in fact a role model for a massive journey of pathways to navigate and choices to make that can be seriously overwhelming at times. 

Through my mahi in High Performance Netball, I have learnt many great mindset models from our psychologists, but one of my favourites is the very simple, ‘Above and Below the Line’ (thanks Dom Vettise). Now, from an entrepreneur’s point of view, alot of us sit BELOW the line, because among other things, we live with a scarcity mindset of ‘not enough’… not enough time… not enough money… not enough resources… not enough support… not enough doors opening. 

We train a lot of people using this model now too, but my biggest piece of advice here is, if you reflect and become self aware of the fact you are operating below the line. You need to actively get yourself ABOVE the line ASAP! Otherwise progress towards everything you want to achieve will be blocked.

 

Confidence both in yourself and in others

In the story of The Lorax, the Once-ler wanted to be ‘a someone’ to others. 

Batman is also a great reminder that everyone has different strengths and superpowers, and comparison is absolutely NO use. It is wasted energy to wish you were someone else with different skills. You need to get shit done with what YOU have. YOU! 

Who do you want to be in your journey? Identity is when you repeatedly show up as your authentic self, without the condition of the environment you are in or the people you are with. Don’t let others define you or what you stand for, because, as Marc Randolph told me “the magic is you”.  

You need a clear awareness of what strengths you bring to the table and what strengths you need to work on. Up until 2019 I could not have listed mine. They were there. But between low self confidence, past public ‘squashings’ and tall poppy syndrome, I NEVER gave myself the opportunity to even think about them, or believe they were true – let alone say them out loud. 

Now, Marc put this much more eloquently when we spoke, but my translation was “Fuck the NDA’s and stop treating your idea like the only piece of gold in the world that everyone wants to steal!” With Marc’s advice, I shared my idea widely, gained invaluable feedback, had my thinking challenged and removed unnecessary barriers that allowed others to contribute to building the most robust offering we could. 

 

Sacred Cows

Another ‘Marc moment’ was the realisation, that even with all my training and knowledge of wellbeing, I was getting caught up in the hustle culture and I not only needed to understand what my key fundamentals were, but to work them out QUICKLY in order to sustain myself for the long game. (As an unfortunate side note, when I met Marc, HUSTLE was my word of the year… so needless to say, I was already deeply sucked into the dark side!)

That confidence I mentioned, I needed to get that knitted into my fabric and QUICK! And so do you! You need to trust that you are the right person to lead your mahi, you need to have your own back and never shape yourself into different versions of yourself to suit others. You need to be able to consistently stand on your mountain top and not budge come wind or rain! 

 

Obstacles and busyness

We can often want to be busy for our own egos to look important or productive. But at the end of the day this comes down to your confidence to define yourself because you are the leader. You are the advocate for your vision, for yourself and for the community you are trying to serve. The buck always stops with you, busy or not. 

You are constantly on a seesaw.

Busy vs. busier.

Mum vs. work.

You vs. you.

I’m getting the hang of this vs. WTF is going on?!

As Robin Sharma says you must “show exceptional loyalty to the promises you make to yourself”. So knowing those Sacred Cows, knowing your values, knowing your fundamentals and being aware when things ‘feel off’ are all critical to stopping a negative downward spiral in its tracks before it derails you or impacts your outcomes.

We can often have giant lists of things that are “critical” to the mission and feel negatively  impacted when new things pop up as our time is already spread too thin.  Marc’s advice for me was to pick two to three critical elements and focus everything I had on them to ensure we got them 100% right and then work to constantly improve upon them from there. He also encouraged me to do things now that would give us breathing space and move us out of survival mode.  

Barriers can be overcome, the real failure would be in A: not trying and; B: allowing others to decide the direction of your vision. 

 

Reflect

When it was all too late, the Once-ler was left alone to reflect, on every choice, every red flag, every ‘head-heart-gut’ moment he had ignored. Your self awareness is critical so you know when things ‘feel off’ and you can right the course or dig deeper to find out why it doesn’t ‘feel right’. 

When you reflect with clarity of your priorities and purpose, you can learn with a growth mindset and ensure your awareness is accurate to breed better choices. Again, this could be an entire workshop in itself, but if you want progression, you need to have your strategic priorities and specific targets clearly defined, with a plan to reflect regularly, it requires daily focus, effort and tenacity. Bit by bit. Day by day. Step by step. Habit by habit. Little by little. Dance by dance.

You don’t need to be hamstrung by anyone or anything, so if you don’t like what is going on, or you need more information before making a decision, trust your instincts, back up and give yourself the space to recognise what is important before taking that next step forward. 

 

Perspectacles

You must be conscious of who you involve in your journey and not get distracted by ‘shiny offerings’ of approval or quick investment. In the Once-ler’s case, his relatives didn’t share his values, work ethic, approach or vision. They just wanted the fastest path to profit and as you know, soon the wheels fell off because he forgot to check in with his ‘head-heart-gut’ regularly. 

Now, in my journey, Batman’s “impossible is a swear word” vibe was a really important mantra, because I didn’t use my family’s money and work my ass off to get investment to not give this project everything I had. But I also had to learn to ‘control my controllables’ and understand my finite capability and where my energy was best spent to see the greatest gains. 

Wearing my perspectacles also helped me be honest with myself when I was in a ‘busy but good’ rut where I felt like I needed to show I was busy to show I was successful and getting somewhere. Eventually, though, by knowing my Sacred Cows and having clarity of my objectives I began to make time for what mattered to moving the ship in the right direction. I also began creating boundaries to prioritize my energy and take care of my wellbeing foundations consistently. 

 

Resilience 

As you may have realized now, I am the kind of person who puts a lot of pressure on myself and expects a lot, but at the end of the day, I need to stay aware of where that pressure and those expectations come from and douse myself with a good dose of reality every now and again! Why? Because we only have around 4000 weeks. I and you, only have a finite amount of time, and if we don’t acknowledge that and manage our energy and our wellbeing, we will not have strong shock absorbers that are ready to protect us from the impact of obstacles that pop up. 

You can anticipate potential disruptors, barriers and challenges, but how you respond to them when they come along, that is all down to the quality of your shock absorbers and your ability to stay ‘above the line’. You want to be able to have the strength and confidence to choose how you show up to ensure you act according to your non-negotiable values and create uplifting energy to keep moving forward. 

 

Wrap

The Once-ler never realised it, but Batman and Marc Randolph certainly do – there is no race to run. No finish line to reach. And that there is never an easy road to take that makes it ok to let go of your values.  

As an entrepreneur and business owner, you are selling yourself all the time, just like a prized bull (but Ferdinand is a story for another day). Stay true to yourself, your vision and your values. Prioritise your wellbeing so your shock absorbers are ready to welcome whatever challenges or opportunities arise, as the best version of yourself, ready to shine and nail it!   

A big thanks to Marc Randolp, Batman and Dr. Suess for the quality guidance! 

 

If you want to learn more, we do a lot of mahi in this space coaching and mentoring clients, working with teams and we offer training to strengthen your wellbeing and your leadership.

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