Written by Daz Burns
The great resignation…
The great re-think…
The great ‘woah I didn’t see this coming’…
The great mental reset! (Daz’s own creation)
Don’t quit your day job
Someone told me once ‘don’t quit your day job’ (let’s be honest, many many times).
Everytime it has been loaded with a bit of sarcasm, normally while I attempt to hit the high note of a Celine Dion song or try out a fancy dance move that doesn’t even come close to looking like J-Lo at all.
I think there is a two fold question here:
When did you quit dreaming and make your world so small?; And
What is wrong with having fun and passionately being terrible at something that brings you joy?
I am well aware that I am not a singer to be heard publicly or be seen busting a move that will probably also bust my hip – but when I am with friends and family or people I trust, why not have fun?!
Why do we immediately cut others down when they are having fun with something they aren’t great at?!
Wake up call…
This opening is hopefully a wake up call in itself to support people to be their whole selves.
With zero judgment.
If what they are doing brings them joy or brings them a feeling of bliss, empower them to do more of it.
Without hints of sarcasm.
Without making them second guess whether they ‘should’ break out into song next time.
Without creating a space that feels unsafe to be their authentic selves.
Because, let’s be honest, that little voice is in all of us anyway right?!
Will I embarrass myself?
Will I ever live this down?
Will they laugh at me?
Will they still take me seriously if I am authentically myself?
The ‘expectations’ we have on ourselves.
The ‘expectations’ others have on us.
The ‘shoulds’ we believe we should do and not do.
The ‘shoulds’ others believe we should do and not do.
We need to tell that voice to be a flat tyre and ‘shhhhhhhhhhhh’.
It is exhausting and we need to declutter our minds of these things and get clarity.
This is part of understanding your identity.
Who you are.
Where you come from.
What brings you joy.
Why it brings you joy.
Whose opinions matter to you and why.
Whose opinions don’t matter to you and why.
Whose expectations am I carrying?
Should I have those expectations?
The great mental reset as I like to call it is first and foremost choosing to pay attention.
To your environment.
Slowing down to be present and aware to then be able to speed up understanding more about yourself and what is important to you.
A story I will share, that I promise has a purpose…
Almost 13 years ago, on our honeymoon in Queenstown, we were driving on a 100km road with scenic views all around us and out of NOWHERE a van decided to stop in the middle of the road on a corner because it was so picturesque!
The first five cars behind the van (including us) all managed to narrowly stop without hitting anyone else.
Then my husband’s arm came out across my chest to brace for impact (because he could see in the rear view mirror what was about to happen) and we were hit from behind by the sixth car traveling at 100km an hour.
He didn’t see us.
How could he, we were on a blind corner!
This sent us catapulting into the car in front of us and the concertina effect happened with the other cars.
The point of this story, that became clear to me during a kōrero with Miriam Woods, is that when you are travelling at 100km in your car, it doesn’t feel that fast.
You feel in control and safe.
Until you aren’t.
Until everything comes to a screaming halt and the damage really shows itself.
It is the same for how we have been living.
We run at 100km an hour, between family commitments, meetings, work commitments, events and everything else we have on our plate.
We continue to speed up.
We lose focus on our triggers and our own needs.
We stop paying attention to what is going on.
Then all of a sudden, like a car hitting you from behind.
You don’t just slow down, you crash.
You may have gotten sick.
You may be facing a restructure.
You may have a relationship break down.
You may have hit burnout.
You’ve lost touch with you.
With what you need.
With what brings you joy.
With who you are in the speedy passing lane.
All of this comes with a moral to the story.
Sing if you want to sing.
Dance if you want to dance.
Draw if you want to draw…
You get the idea.
Tell the ‘don’t quit your day job people’ to start finding their own joy and bliss and leave yours well alone.
Tell them about your great mental reset.
That they may have an opinion, but you didn’t ask for it.
That you know what fills your soul and you are doing those things for yourself, no one else.
Take small steps.
And do those small steps well.
Then those small steps will turn into foundations to build on.
Take ‘I’ll just do this quickly’ moments.
And turn them into opportunities to breathe and enjoy what is happening.
Don’t stop dreaming.
Don’t stop finding your life’s joy.
Don’t run at 100km all the time.
Don’t stop singing, dancing, drawing, creating.