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Are You Struggling to Fill Your Cup?

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Written by Daz

 Your energy is not reliant on one source. Whatever fills your energy tank. The responsibility lies with you to do it to ensure you never get empty. My team and our dress ups, pictured above, definitely help fill my tank! 



Energy. It’s like the fountain of youth that used to be in every adventure cartoon I watched when I was young, sometimes elusive, hard to hold onto, always in demand. I think energy is our fountain of youth. We need energy for EVERYTHING! This blog is about how to tap into multiple sources to keep your energy tank replenished to keep you thriving.


It all Started With a Question

Sitting in a virtual coaching session, in our latest lockdown in Aotearoa, a question was posed to one of the members “what’s the most important thing for you at this stage of your life?”

Consider me triggered. 

Deeply thinking. 

Could I answer that question on the spot?

Do I know?!

What IS the most important thing for ME, at this stage of MY life?!


I put a lot of pressure on myself in that moment to have an answer.

Once I stopped panicking and realised I wasn’t the one who had to answer out loud. 

I took a few breaths to bring my stress levels down.

I often think deeply about my wellness, do I need to have an answer for this right now?!

I could hear David Galbraith in my ear….

‘Quintessential Weirdo Daz, the most important thing for YOU at this stage of YOUR life is to proudly and unapologetically be a quintessential weirdo’.

(If you haven’t watched our korero with David where he explains quintessential weirdo, I highly recommend you carve out some time to do that as soon as you can).


It’s true. 

What’s the most important thing for me at this stage of my life?

It is having the energy to proudly live my life being my quintessentially weird self.

What does that mean?

It is more important to me now than it has ever been, to be me.

To live without fear of someone not ‘liking’ me.

Living life not trying to fit into a square box or whatever box someone thinks I should be in. 

Normal is sm-average. B-O-R-I-N-G!

That’s not me.


Definitions for Reference

Now, before I go on, to save you googling here are some definitions I think might be helpful:

Quintessential: the most perfect or typical example of a quality

Weirdo: a person whose behaviour seems strange

Square peg, round hole: unusual individualist who could not fit into a niche of their society

Energy: the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity; the capacity for doing work

Lethargy: inactivity; showing an unusual lack of energy; lack of vitality or energy

Synergy: things or people coming together to produce something great



I think the key disclaimer here is that I have done A TON of work to finally be able to hi-5 myself for just being me.

For accepting who I am.

For understanding why I am the way I am.

For knowing my values and not compromising them for anyone, anymore.

Because trust me, this has NEVER been a strength of mine. 

I have always been my own worst enemy.

The old “Negative Nelly” has always been strong in this one!


Energy, Lethargy & Synergy.

So, ‘energy’.

It’s like the fountain of youth that used to be in every adventure cartoon I watched when I was young, sometimes elusive, hard to hold onto, always in demand.

I think energy is our fountain of youth. 

We need energy for EVERYTHING!

In these strange times we live in we need energy probably more than we ever have before.

And I certainly need energy to live my quintessentially weird life, proudly.


The question for each of us all, is how do we replenish our energy source?

Sadly, there is no easy answer.

No map we can all follow.

It is unique to each of us.

For one person it might be a spa at the end of the day.

Someone else, book club.

Your friend, a long run.










….(I possibly went too hard there highlighting the fact that we are all different, but at least you get it, right? lol)


Whatever fills your tank.

The responsibility lies with you to do it.

The possibly unfortunate news here is that no one else can refill your tank.

No one else has access to see where your depleted energy gauge is sitting.

Admittedly and logically, it naturally goes down throughout the day as we use it.

But whānau, you should never let your energy tank get empty.



Analogy Time

You have your car.

You rely on your wheels to get you to work, to school, to whānau, to friends.

Whether your car is powered by petrol, diesel or battery.

You have to refill it.

You have to recharge it.

If you let it get to empty.

It stops.

If it stops, you’re stuck.

You can’t get to work to earn money.

You can’t get to school to pick up your children.

You can’t get to whānau who might need your help.


In the same respect…You have a body.

You rely on your body to work, to move, to love, to think.

Whether your body is powered by coffee, exercise, mediation, hugs or soul food.

You have to refill it.

You have to recharge it.

If you let your energy levels get empty.

YOU stop.

If you stop, then what?

You can’t work to earn money.

You can’t love yourself, your children or your partner.

You can’t give your whānau support or help.

This is the definition in action of lethargy aka zero energy. 


As I said earlier, there is no ‘one’ answer here.

But what you do need to stop doing is putting bandaids on bullet holes. 

Running on fumes is not thriving.

It is not giving your world the best of you.

You are not doing yourself or any part of or person in your life justice.


Which brings us to synergy.

Your energy is not reliant on one source. 

Going for a run will certainly support your energy sources to build up.

But that won’t do it on its own.


So, What Can Help Us Understand?

If we look to Māori health models for guidance here, like Te Whare Tapa Whā.

Sir Mason Durie made it abundantly clear that to achieve hauora (wellbeing/wellness) we need to take a collective approach to filling all aspects of our energy tanks.

Tinana – physical 

Wairua – spiritual 

Whānau – family and social

Hinengaro – mental and emotional 

And I love the latest addition to the model being: 

Whenua – land and roots.



So, sticking with the truest fact. 

Being that we are all quintessential weirdos (or should be actively striving to be one), all different and with different needs.

I encourage you to explore Te Whare Tapa Whā for yourself. 

To try new things and find out in each of these areas, what you need.

What refills or recharges your energy tank. 

Because each of these aspects of wellness in your life will work in synergy together to give you epic energy to live your quintessentially weird life, the way you want to.

It can be hard to notice sometimes that you are “off” but once you know the things you need, you will be able to quickly assess what you might be missing from your day. 🙂

I also encourage you to have this korero with your friends, whānau and closest peeps, so that when any of you are feeling ‘off’ or running on fumes, you can support each other to refill your tank. 



If you know someone who would benefit from reading this article, please share it to open up those conversations and safe spaces.

If someone you know needs help finding that source of energy, or perhaps you do too, share this with them so that you can be accountable together towards helping your energy levels! You never know they might be feeling the same and you’ll help, not only yourself but others too! 

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Heather Connolly is a wife, and mother of two and is the Director of Engagement and Executive Education at the University of Waikato!

We talk about what wellness looks like for her including, juggling children’s schedules with her own calendar! We talk about the value of family, listening to your body, being a part of a theatre community, why being joyous is in the small moments and how to make the best use of your time!

All you need to do is sign up for free!

Heather Connolly interview with The Good Day Matrix