Written by Daz Burns
The juggle, flirting with the line of burnout and navigating the in-between…
You remember it right, sitting on the seesaw with your mate, having a few calm ‘up downs’ and then, things start to escalate… you try and make the person come down hard or you try to bounce them off their set at the top so they almost fly in the air while they hold on tight….
Life is full of momentum shifts, soft easy ones, sharp brutal ones and everything in between.
This is literally our daily life, right?! The work vs life seesaw is a workshop that Emily and I facilitate in our mahi and it is really helpful to the people who come along because burnout, balance and resilience… they’re all hot topic buzz words to keep an eye out for, but honestly, what does it all mean and what do you do with the information?
There was some research done in Aotearoa recently that identified work-life balance among the biggest workplace wellbeing challenges, 74.3% to be exact! So, needless to say, this is an important conversation we all need to be having.
My intention with this blog is to give you some information, food for thought if you will?
And a couple of tools to try.
So, stay with me, keep imagining that seesaw, ‘work’ is in one seat, and ‘life’ is in the other seat, and there are A LOT of tipping points that show up each and every day and most of the time when the momentum changes, we aren’t prepared for the shift. The philosophy of Ikigai talks about the imaginary 50/50 split of balance between work and life and how in fact, no such thing is actually possible.
Yet, we keep trying to get the balance right?
We keep trying to get the weights to evenly match so the seesaw stays horizontal in the middle.
So, if the outcome will NEVER be balanced, what fight are we actually fighting?
Work is life, just as our whānau, friends, chores, life admin and hobbies are life too, so attempting to totally separate and compartmentalise work away from everything else is energy wasted.
First things first
My first tip here is to have a look at your mindset and perspective and see if, instead of looking at work as one big giant “thing”, if you can instead break your mahi down into different components and think about:
- What elements bring me real joy?
- What parts of my work genuinely motivate me?
- Are there some areas of my role that I need to reframe, change or have conversations about?
But to be most helpful, after looking at the research around this perceived imbalance, we will focus on burnout.
Because, though hope is an important choice (Arthur C. Brooks), it is absolutely not a strategy without dedicated, consistent action to back it up.
BURNOUT
Honestly, the danger word of workplaces around the world at the moment.
It has been identified as a crisis across the globe and we need to be proactive in our prevention strategies, as well as our support for our people.
You don’t want to be burnt out.
You don’t want your team to be burnt out.
And more often than not, when people are dancing on the edge of burnout, they have absolutely no idea they are about to fall.
Why would I include a burnout section in a work life balance blog when I am talking proactive approaches to not get to burnout?
Because:
- I would hedge my bets that most people wouldn’t be able to recognise that they are in the stages of burnout;
- I would also put money on the fact that 80% of people reading this don’t know that there are LOT’S of types of burnout; and
- I know that if you don’t start digging yourself out of your burnout situation… no one else is coming to do it for you.
The ‘Burnouts’
So here is some of that food for thought I talked about earlier.
Here are three types of burnout:
- Compassion burnout
- Misalignment burnout
- Depletion burnout
Compassion burnout is basically the cost of over-caring without limits.
It can be a drain on you when you pour out more than you allow back in and can lead to emotional fatigue, numbness and a sense of dread about having to show up for others.
If you are someone who cares deeply about others, as a parent, leader, volunteer, this could be you!
If you are looking for a sign… you might be snappier at small things, you might avoid people you used to love supporting or, you might feel that your empathy is depleted.
My advice, learn to care with some limits and boundaries in place so you can take care of yourself.
And if setting the boundary is hard, do the hard thing, and then respect the boundary you have set, so others respect and uphold it too.
Misalignment burnout is when your work and passion drift apart.
Imagine standing on a surfboard in the sea that has broken in half, and one foot is on each half, and the pieces are floating away from one another, and your legs are getting further and further apart, and you are about to fall in, head first.
We often think that burnout is about doing too much, lack of sleep, late nights, early mornings, on call all the time… but actually, misalignment burnout is all about doing too much of what doesn’t sit well with you.
It could be the way you have been asked to do something, or it could be the work not aligning with your passions, values or interests. Basically, the mahi has lost its meaning.
The danger here is your inspiration vanishes into thin air, your positive Anna from Frozen approach turns into Eeyore’s cynical approach, and you are having to act more than be yourself.
No vacation will sort this out.
You need to ask yourself deeper questions and be prepared to take some action when you find the answers:
- Am I living in alignment with who I am?
- Who feels off?
- What small shifts could bring me back to alignment?
Whatever the answers are that you find… you have to take responsibility to initiate the momentum shift to make changes bring you back into alignment.
Depletion burnout is when you feel the slow fade of energy.
Again, an assumption here is when we are in burnout, it is like a plane crash, with high impact and you “know” it has happened.
When in fact, it can just tip toe up behind you, slowly chipping away at you and eroding your joy.
If you are constantly giving your attention, your energy and your time without any real intentional recovery you are probably experiencing some kind of depletion burnout. Taking an “always on” – “always productive” – “always available” approach to life can mean you are tired all the time and you don’t even realise it or, you do, but you don’t make any changes to turn things around because it is your ‘normal’.
If you are skipping breaks, running on fumes, not eating, I am talking to you!
The slow tyre leak that is depletion burnout leads to forgetfulness, low immunity, lack of enthusiasm and physical exhaustion to name just a few of the consequences.
YOU ARE ALLOWED… NEIGH… YOU ARE REQUIRED TO REST!
Don’t wait until you are desperate for it.
To perform sustainably, replenish yourself DAILY!
Reflection Questions
- Which type of burnout shows up for me most often?
- Who can I have a conversation with about it?
- Can I spot one of these types of burnout in someone I work with? Live with? Care about?
- Is there a boundary I am afraid to set?
- What is the cost of not setting it?
- What can I do to be proactive about not reaching the cliff’s edge of burnout?
Humans made the rules; humans can change them too!
If you have read this and think to yourself, ‘but I have always done it this way’ or ‘that’s just how our workplace has always done it’ and can’t see a path to positive change – I want you to think “the game is the game, until it changes” (Sunni Brown). Humans created the rules, processes, and expectations, and humans can change them!
So if there is no balance to be fighting for, what meaningful advice can I offer you that doesn’t feel like “another thing I have to do each day”?
Slow down.
Intentionally slow down.
Slow down long enough to do THREE THINGS: Notice, Name & Navigate
- Listen to your thoughts and feelings, to pay attention to how your body is actually responding to how you are living and to notice where you are at.
- If you focus on the front end, interpreting and understanding your emotions, you have the potential to impact everything downstream (Steve Magness).
- Then name it. Name how you are actually feeling and what you are actually thinking.
- And lastly, set about navigating a path through it, ask yourself, ‘what would be the most helpful next move I could take?’
You can’t fix everything in one go (sorry about it, I have tried!), so don’t write a laundry list of 25 things to sort out all at once.
But start with one thing to start proactively shifting the momentum.
Then, go to the second step.
Write yourself reminders.
Have conversations.
Set yourself up to succeed.
And keep checking in with yourself.
The longer you leave your check ins, the further off course you will potentially get and the harder it will be to try and get yourself back on an even keel.
As Malcolm Gladwell says, “the real me is revealed in my actions.”
So instigate that first intentional action today and get your seesaw gliding smoothly as the momentum shifts.
Daz xx
