Written by Daz Burns
So, the moral of today’s kōrero?
Do what fills YOUR cup.
I LOVE photos!
I have so many albums of PRINTED (I know, how ridiculous!) photos.
I have always loved photos. But, it hasn’t always been that way for having photos of ME, and in fact, if you look at all my beautiful photo albums and gorgeous friends and family there, I don’t really feature… I always TOOK the photo, but wouldn’t want to be in it.
The story of why I didn’t like photos of myself is for another blog.
But, I literally made myself invisible for FAR TOO MANY YEARS.
Now, I am the person who ALWAYS says “we need to get a photo!”
And more often than not, someone groans, “do we have to?”
And I have to coerce them or encourage them to do it.
I am skilled in speedily setting up the timer and finding a great place to lean my phone to fit everyone in the picture to make it as quick and painless as possible for them.
When I send it to people later or share it on social media, people always say it is so awesome that I remember to take photos, because they always forget or don’t think to do it.
But, near the end of 2023, I was feeling deflated to be honest… that it’s always me… that there is generally a moan from someone… and that others don’t see the value in capturing these moments like I do.
So, 2024 has been a year of awareness for me.
I made a conscious decision NOT to be the one who always instigates taking photos with my friends and family.
I was too tired of the grumbles and feeling like I was annoying people.
Since stopping being the paparazzi, I have had SO many comments from people saying, “Daz, are you not going to take a picture before we go?” to which my response has been varied, but generally with a positive vibe encouraging them by saying “you can!”
And they don’t.
And they almost seem disappointed.
And I sure am too!
So, my social experiment has been an eye opener for me for a few reasons.
But, one that I thought might be helpful for you is that, when I used to have a spare minute, I would scroll through my photos and be filled with such joy to see cool moments with my friends and family… and they aren’t there.
I wish I had the kind of memory that when I close my eyes, I could just remember cool things that happen.
But I can’t.
And by doing this intentional experiment, I have to be honest with myself and own the fact that I let my cup get empty, that’s no one else’s fault but my own.
No one took that joy.
I literally gave it away.
So, no, maybe other people don’t put the same value in photos as I do.
And yes, maybe they will ‘sigh’ and hurt my heart a little.
But fuck it.
I do value those photos.
They absolutely do fill my resilience cup.
Because I bloody value the hell out of the time they share with me.
And I value the way I feel when I look back and see the great times we have had together.
So, the moral of today’s kōrero?
Do what fills YOUR cup.
(For the purpose and focus of this blog, photos are the key theme – but this could be anything… exercise, listening to certain music, building lego, gardening, dancing etc).
Check in with yourself regularly and be aware of how you’re feeling and what might be affecting your energy levels.
No, photos might not be everyone’s cup of tea.
But if they are your ‘thing.’
Take them.
Appreciate them.
Share them.
Print them.
Revisit them.
Send them to people.
Live YOUR life.
And for me, the fact I want to take your picture, means I am not only grateful for the time you have shared with me, but that I have loved every minute of it and probably love you too!
So what can you do?
Now, no blog would be complete without some kind of take away or call to action, so, still focusing on photos…
Take ten minutes now and start scrolling, intentionally pay attention to what your camera roll is filled with…
Quotes you’ve seen that, at the time, you wanted to remember, or resonated with you?
Whānau snaps?
Adventures?
Products you need to buy?
Friends?
Selfies?
Photos of your meals?
Nature?
Could you run a rough percentage guess for each? (adding to 100% of course)
For example:
Quotes 15%
Whānau 20%
Adventures 10%
Products 13%
Friends 18%
Selfies 12%
Photos of your meals 2%
Nature 10%
Is there anything you notice that doesn’t sit well with you?
Too much of something?
Not enough of something?
Maybe too many products you want to buy and not much time with whānau?
Maybe that your nature photos fill you with a sense of calm?
Maybe that your friend’s photos make you laugh as you remember what was happening in the lead up to the photo being taken?
Maybe you forgot all about half the quotes you screen shotted?
Reflect on what you have noticed, and then, take action.
If you want to spend more time with your friends, make it happen.
If you want to see your parents more, set it up!
If you want more nature in your life, get out there!
If you want to remember the quotes, write them down!
My house is FILLED with photo frames chocka block of great memories and moments.
When I walk past them, they bring me SO much joy.
Even on the toughest of days, I am never alone because everyone I love, in moments that have brought me the biggest smiles, are here with me… in my photos… to remind me that I have an epic village of humans in my life.
Life is too short
Ps. Don’t be the guy who sighs when the camera comes out.
Life is too short and that might be the last picture you ever have with someone.
If you don’t like your teeth.
Or your nose.
Or your chin.
Or your redness or wrinkles.
Just remember you like the person you are with.
And they like you too.
You like the time you spend together.
And I’m pretty certain they love you just the way you are and want to take your picture because you’re choice! 🙂
Say cheese! ❤️
