Written by Daz Burns
An honest insight to where I am at with school holidays coming in hot, and half of the year gone!
The juggle is REAL!
Really fucking hard.
Yup.
I said it.
It doesn’t mean I am not grateful to be in the thick of the juggle.
Just aware.
Heightenedly aware in fact that the juggle is both beautifully and tiringly chaotic!! (in case any English teachers or majors are reading this, I did just make up the word ‘heightenedly’ but it fitted my vibe, so I am sorry if that has grated you).
And I am certainly no Krusty the Clown.
I can not keep all my balls in the air while I ride a unicycle and talk to an audience of kids!
Anywho, this blog came about because it is JULY!
And some serious reality bombs started hitting home.
- School holidays are knocking on the back door (and once again, I do not have a plan for my three children and full time job to work cooperatively together).
- We are in WEEK TWENTY SIX of 2024 (if you are reading this in the first week of July, of course, if it’s later in the month/year… you do the math).
- Instagram and Facebook make me feel guilty when other families are doing super cool stuff like nature adventures or movie trips (while my children are entertaining themselves at our home while I sit on my laptop…again).
I feel like I am not alone in this.
Right?! (God I hope so, or I am really letting the team down).
I do not have my shit together.
Nor do I have all the answers.
To be honest, I don’t even have ‘top tips’ to share.
So why on earth am I writing this blog and asking you to spend your precious time reading it?
Well, it’s because we are in this together.
In some way, shape or form, we all face the juggle.
And it isn’t about being better than anyone else.
It isn’t about comparing ourselves to each other.
It is simply about being real.
And, trying to do a little better for ourselves and our families.
The actual juggle
There is a saying that if each thing in our lives were a juggling ball, our work one would be made of rubber and even if we dropped it, it would keep bouncing back, no real damage done.
But the other balls.
Our life priorities.
Our family.
Our passions.
Our wellbeing.
Our relationships.
They are made of glass.
So, if we drop them.
They chip.
They crack.
They fracture.
They are never the same.
Now, I don’t know about you, but this analogy really cuts through my excuses and reasoning of why my laptop is so ‘critical’ to be a focal point.
Because, of course I (we) need to prioiritse catching the glass ones!
Just for the whānau in the back, WE NEED TO PRIORITISE CATCHING THE GLASS ONES!
Where I am at currently
My situation is different to a lot of people, as I can work from home and can decide my hours.
But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t put a whole lot of pressure on myself to keep driving things forward and continuing momentum in the right direction.
But here is my plan.
In trying to be a little bit better within the reality of the juggle.
These school holidays I am going to try out …
- Having a plan ahead of time of some things we want to do, when they might happen and having early conversations of how we can help out other families who are facing the same juggle by potentially inviting their children over to hang.
- Having clear boundaries of when I am working and when I am not (and not allowing the “I’ve just got to do this one job and then I’ll be done” creep to happen).
- Tools-downing-on-the-double (another Daz wordage creation… you’re welcome… English teachers, again, so sorry): When my small humans want to talk to me, even if within my “work time boundary” – immediately stopping, closing the screen and giving them 100% of my attention (no matter if I need to finish a sentence or now, because jeepers, their big blue eyes are so beautiful to look at and I don’t want to miss seeing them).
- Understanding that the boundaries I am setting are for me to be accountable to, not for my children to tiptoe around.
- Having realistic expectations of what I can actually get done in the time I have available to work and not setting myself up to fail or be stressed or to eventually blur the boundaries to ‘get shit done.’
- And finally, NOT worrying that I am letting my children down or that another family is doing cool stuff and my children are missing out.
A few questions I will quietly ask myself throughout the “holidays” will be:
- Did I hand on heart, respect the boundaries I put in place today?
- What could I have done differently to support a better outcome?
- What am I going to do about it tomorrow to be better?
Was it helpful for you that I shared my plan?
I don’t know.
Will it help me be more accountable since I have put it out there?
Shit I hope so.
Those glass balls.
They are so important to me.
So, damaging them.
Even slightly.
Is not an outcome I want to know I could have changed if I had made better choices.
So, school holidays, come at me, I am ready for your “squirrels at a rave” chaos.
Daz xx
Glossary of new terms: 😉
Heightenedly
Daz’s definition: To have a ‘smack you in the face’ (aka undeniably strong) understanding of the effects, impacts and flow on effects of your actions and current reality.
Tools-downing-on-the-double
Daz’s definition: To immediately “stop in your tracks” for something much more important than whatever you were doing that you thought was important, but really, wasn’t in the scheme of life.
